arkansas, and in my dream lilly came to me, and she did it with fingers, and she said, mommy, i am right there, i am right there in your heart, don't worry, i love you, mommy. sarah came to me when i was, you know, flipping out, and said, you know, don't worry, mommy, there's nothing to be afraid of. i had a dream with sarah where she said just look into my eyes. it's all okay. with gracy, i see butterflies everywhere, and i know it's grace. you know, if it's cold or raining, wherever, and so i -- you know, not only do i know that they are in my heart, i know now that their presence is everywhere. when all of those things were happening, i thought, wow, i am delusional. i must be really nuts.